Revelations about thoughts on what women wear especially at a Sadie Hawkins stepper set.
MALE STEPPER: “I wanted to dance with her, but when she asked me I told her no.”
ME: “Why?”
MALE STEPPER: “She had her entire cleavage out. When I dance with a woman I look down at her feet. I don’t want her or anyone watching us to think I am staring at her breasts.”
That’s what he said! On my way to the “Sadie Hawkins” set that night, on second thought, I turned back and changed out of my shorts and put on a knee-length long-sleeved buttoned-up shirt dress. At a Sadie Hawkins set and even at regular events, women ask men to dance. I figured it best to cover up my legs a bit more on a night where I may approach and ask a woman’s significant other for a dance. I was still surprised at his comments, more so because I had changed my attire. Far be it from me to judge anyone for showing too much of anything. I love wearing my legs out. Another woman may show off more of her chest, or her back, or her stomach, or MORE.
At Secular Clubs
I love that at stepper sets I see men and women dancing with someone other than his/her significant other. This is generally accepted by most steppers. Steppin’ is the only dance community where I see this happen. I am mindful to do my part to preserve this luxury. At secular clubs, most men out with their significant other do not dance with other women. I remember club nights seeing women dressed nicely just sitting. Men were either coupled up or with guy friends standing against the wall with their hands on their balls – literally. I don’t miss it at all. When I see married men dancing with other women, I learn to respect it. I don’t know how many steppers agree.
Yes, my mood, the atmosphere I expect, the weather can dictate what I wear to any set. In a time when on sets I see color-coordinated nipple pasties, shoes, and makeup, what do you think about this gentleman’s comment? Men, does revelation on the set make a difference? Can a lady’s attire deter you from dancing with her? Does a woman’s attire at a Sadie Hawkins stepper set influence whether or not men will dance with her?
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Anonymous
I go to many sets with my significant other and I find that both females and males have a problem with appropriately asking for a dance. When I do end up dancing with a lady, they often tell me, “I thought you two don’t dance with other people”. I almost always respond “Most people are just not interested enough to properly ask for a dance with me from my Lady, and the same goes with guys wanting to dance with her”. How a person dresses will determine how I would dance with them, but the main thing is their level of respect for my relationship.
Sonji
Amen and thank you for that Marvin.
Sonji
I would love to see that picture. Once you get on that floor a couple of times and people get to know you, you will get your dances in chicago. They love out of towners and treat them well from my experience. No matter how you are dressed.
Jenny
A male sent my friend & I a picture of a female whom he said gets a lot of dances because of the way she dresses not that she’s a good dancer & he suggested that we might wanna dress more like her if we wanted to get more dances…i dress more age appropriate…it seems as though men like dancing with younger women especially if I’m on a set & they don’t know me…I was taught that I needed to ask men…I don’t have a problem asking but I do when they turn me down….1st visit to Chicago I asked a guy to dance & he informed me that he wasn’t dancing tonight only for me to see him shortly afterwards dancing with & woman dressed more like my male friend suggested that we should dress like SMH…I won’t stop asking because the ratio of women to men…I’ll be sitting all night…I just wanna dance!!!
Marvin Smalley
I, am also a little apprehensive about dancing with women who have on outfits that may cause a slight mishap. It becomes challenging to the versatility of the dance. I’ve been flashed a time or two. I know this is not a set up for voicing personal preferences. But, I do not want to see everything at first glance. The greatest gifts are kept hidden and requires work to achieve.