What is stepper ego? People sometimes tie the word “ego” with a negative connotation so I am going to start with the definition. Ego is “the I or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, willing and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.” In my words, your ego is an unswayable unique identity of who you are. To realize your ego is a great thing!
Very early in my journey as a stepper I realized how steppin’ helps me to recognize who I am, discover things I did not pay attention to and things I want to change and identify the qualities of me that I want to magnify in how I present myself. I don’t know if others can relate entirely to this experience, but I hope it isn’t completely foreign to other steppers. Chicago style steppin’ can be like a mirror into the soul and this dance is helping me expose my ego and express it through dance. I believe, the great steppers, legends and masters are ego-centric. They know themselves, can dance on any floor, to any song, in any shoes and surely will not be easily moved by a challenge or most distractions.
Staying Uninterrupted
I have seen Sherry Gordon dance countless times. I remember two instances, one in Milwaukee and one in St. Louis, when I saw her say calm but firm words with a dance partner in the middle of dancing. She appeared to be addressing something she did not like. However, regardless of how she felt or what she said, her dance did not change and she finished out the song and at the end of the song onlookers applauded enthusiastically. That is what I mean when I say dance uninterrupted. Sherry handled whatever it was with style, grace and class and it didn’t change how she presented herself. Sherry Gordon is a woman who has an ego!
Stay True to Your Stepper Ego
This article came to mind because I sometimes struggle with staying “uninterrupted” whether in my dance or in the community as a whole. I recognize that some steppers struggle to find themselves in this community. Instead of seeking out their own identity, some steppers create groups within groups within groups to be with similar people or to have a sense of belonging. It is the nature of people to find common ground, but do we let groups overshadow who we are and hide our ego and individuality?
Cliques are common in the community and some steppers fail to be candidly aware of how cliques magnify our differences and create degrees of separation that make others – like newer steppers- uncomfortable. If you don’t belong to a group, who are you as a stepper? And if you are in a group, what happens when you don’t follow along? I remember passing by a group of steppers and greeting everyone “Good morning Ladies.” Tia Herring was the only one in the group to respond while everyone else kept their head straight and ignored me. Another stepper with an ego!
In 2017 there are many negative distractions and people getting lost in the limelight of cliques or defining themselves by who they are seen with. It is sometimes a challenge for me to just ignore it. How do I stay intentionally focused when there are negative distractions? To recenter, I often reread “Why does any of this matter to me?” on the blog bio page.
“I am sensitive to some things happening around me – mostly to circumstances that create exclusivity in social settings or just bad juju to people in general. Am I gonna talk about that? Yes, just a little bit. Am I gonna dwell on it? No.”
-Sonji Stewart
Everyone is Important
Last week, Reggie Handy posted on Facebook “I have heard so much negativity about The Steppin Community. I am so glad that I started dancing when I did, because I probably would have been turned off IF I WAS A NEWBIE IN 2017…..” Not a very inspirational statement but true and –yes, me too. There are many days I feel surrounded by people who don’t want to show themselves and who they really are. On those days I try to focus on the bigger meaning of what I do and remember my Dad’s words because I will always believe:
“Sonji. You are important. You do take up space. You’ve earned it. You are an important person in the room and no one has to be less important because you are in the room.”
Winston Stewart
This is what I consider in everything I do. I remain unbothered – uninterrupted.
