The moments of highest contention in our friendship are in workshops when Vince Barnes gives me a move and I don’t execute what he thinks I ought to have done. We bicker for at least a minute about who did what wrong until I ask the instructor to remind Vince that if I don’t get the move, it is his fault for not executing the lead properly(smile). I win that one every time. However, Vince impresses on me that if I don’t end up where he expects me to be after he gives me the first move, the next move he planned is disrupted. One of his favorite lines is “If I lead you there, I need you there.” I say, “If you need me there, lead me there!” Leading is so important in the dance of Chicago Stepping.
In this dance, we should be patient with each other. But, one of the best lessons I learned in Chicago Style steppin’ is cleaning up the wrong move or step. You won’t get it right every time. Sometimes we (both men and women) have to learn to adjust on the fly and if I don’t end up where you want me to be, let’s work together as partners do to clean it up! Keep it fun and don’t reprimand and blame. Make no mistake, as much as we’ve fussed about steppin’ Vince and I are still friends. Well — he’ll still step with me.
Leading Before the Dance Begins
And gentlemen, leading starts before the dance even begins. I hardly find in other non-stepper social settings that men will lead me from my seat to the dance floor and then back to my seat after our dance. In the steppin’ community, the gentlemen know to treat every woman like a lady. Men hold my hand and lead me to the floor and back to my seat. I feel the huge difference between tolerating social behaviors in a nightclub and enjoying the social etiquette at any stepper set or event. Gentlemen, please remember to lead me to the dance floor. It’s one of the sweetest feelings for me when you hold my hand and walk with me. I think other ladies may agree. I know sometimes it gets so crowded at sets and events that winding through chairs to get to my seat may seem impractical. In those cases, please meet me even at the edge of the dance floor and lead me to our spot. Please do not and really, do not, yell for me or give me the finger jerk to meet you on the floor – ever.
If you missed the first three etiquettes, read them here:
Follow us in our Facebook group, livingthe8count.com, A Chicago Style Steppin Community.
