To enjoy Chicago Stepping, trust is essential. It’s not just about trusting your dance partner; it’s about having faith in yourself. To learn and dedicate myself to stepping, I practice diligently at home and embrace every opportunity to dance with others. Experience built my confidence. I got comfortable touching different hands on the wood and dancing to all the music. Gradually, my moves became second nature, and I learned to respond instinctively to my partner’s signals. However, something has changed.
Experiencing a setback like my fall in January tests that confidence and trust, making returning to the dance floor daunting. Yet, setbacks are a natural part of any journey, and I want to approach this challenge with patience and self-compassion. I hear about steppers who have been injured, suffered different ailments, or faced health challenges. Stepping reminds me of my mortality every day. This time is scary, but I am glad to be here for the challenge. I trust that with time and persistence, I’ll regain my rhythm and confidence and be ready to embrace the joy of Chicago Stepping again.
Getting Back to Stepping
I started to test the waters a few weeks before at Ellerys. I was determined that Heritage Ball would be a comeback, not a fallback. At first, on Heritage Ball weekend, I struggled with turning down dances or saying yes while explaining to my partner I was still recovering from an injury. It took away from the fun and changed the energy. I was breaking all the rules – never say no when asked for a dance and no disclaimers. This approach only lasted one day, and I did not start to enjoy all of the music fully until Friday night. Getting back out and dancing were my doctor’s orders to “start being regular again.” Thankfully, each day of the weekend brought something that pushed me forward, and on Friday, I decided to use “no disclaimers.” I want to thank five unforgettable men who helped me break free from my inhibitions and find liberation on the dance floor.
1. Tall Rick
I heard an Old School song start and quickly scanned the room for Tall Rick. He was at the bar. It’s a pity I can’t recall which song. I asked Tall Rick to dance, and then we were on the dancefloor. I enjoy dancing with him because he thoroughly enjoys the music and keeps his partner engaged at the same time. Tall Rick never forgets his partner in his flow; he is one of the few tall men I can step with. But you know what made this Thursday at Ellery’s extra special? When he raised our hands and shuffled his feet, I did the same. I was so shocked I almost stopped dancing. I recognized we were dancing on a different level, and he was trying something new with me. We danced for two songs, and let me tell you, this dance will be etched in my memory forever.
2. James Rover
When I first danced with James on the weekend, I warned him about my injury, and he said, “Don’t worry, I will dance for both of us,” and he did. I smiled so much because he was getting it in for us both. I love dancing with James because of his amazing flow and high energy. He moves, and so do I when we dance. On Friday night, we danced again, and the song was made just for us. Again, I can’t recall the name. I kept up with every move and turn across the lane. James keeps his eye on me, can correct and adjust if he needs to, and makes it a part of the dance. We were beaming. People were watching, and that is how I wanted to dance all weekend. No more hesitation – a moment of turns, carousels, and moving across the lane.
3. BigSlim “Cliff Reynolds”
I love dancing with Cliff whenever I’m in Chicago! Each time we dance, it feels like we’ve never danced before. I am still learning to catch his rhythm, but every dance is unique and new. I love the challenge. When the song started, I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself, but I coaxed myself to relax and feel the music. As we started traveling the floor together, I couldn’t help but think, “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve done this. Is my back ready?” Cliff noticed I was struggling to dance and travel backward, but instead of giving up, he led me and kept us moving. I smiled. Only Cliff would give me something I did not realize I had to work on. Whenever there’s a lesson, I embrace it wholeheartedly. These eye-opening experiences mean more to me than the flawless dance. And Cliff showed me that those who want to dance with me will be understanding and patient.
4. Steppin Trell
I’ve had the pleasure of dancing with Trell from Milwaukee a few times. I absolutely love how we can create magical moments on the dancefloor when we groove to the perfect, smooth, mid-tempo song. Our dance at Saturday’s day party was simply divine, and it was one of the dance highlights of my entire weekend. I felt confident and surely showed it in my dance – playing with the music and smiling. I had a great time with Trell on the dancefloor, and I only wish we had recorded it to relive the fun. It was probably during this moment that I received the friendly, cautious eye of “niece, you simmer down young lady” from Uncle Tony Dow. Minutes before I told him I was still recovering and taking it easy.
5. Romen Silver
I met Romen in Chicago during my first visit in 2012. He was shadow-stepping and effortlessly led all the women he danced with without touching them. His back was to his partner in all his turns, so coming out of any turn, his partner needed to be where he expected her, or the dance could be a disaster. As a beginner then, It made me nervous to dance with him. I believed dancing with Romen required the woman to be a great stepper who knew how to follow and exactly where to be throughout the entire song. When I finally danced with him, I realized this could only make me improve my following skills. Now, whenever I see Romen, I can’t help but want to dance with him. On Saturday, I asked him to dance. During the song, he whispered to me, “Fuck that beat! Follow me.” It was a beautiful four minutes. “Look, Ma, no hands!”
What to Focus on Next in Stepping
I had a great time at the Heritage Ball and enjoyed all my dances. It got me thinking about what to focus on next in rebuilding trust in my body in stepping. I’m all about giving my body the time it needs to heal and not rushing back onto the dancefloor. Dancing is a big part of my healing process and is no surprise considering all the challenges I’ve faced in life where dance helped, from divorce to death.
Dance has always been there for me. I’m taking my time and taking my steps. I’ll never forget what Westside Mike told me: “Sonji, you have complete control over your body. You can make it do anything you want, as long as you put your mind to it. No more excuses.” And that’s precisely what I’m doing. Nothing is more liberating than trusting myself, and I’m ready to return to Chicago!
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Welcome! I am the writer Sonji Stewart. These are my travel stories about my Chicago Stepping experiences, traveling from city to city to dance. I hope my stories encourage you to join me in the adventure.
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