What I love about steppin’ is that everyone’s dance is different. I absorb from every partner so I try to dance with someone new, someone different every chance I get. My time on any dance floor is a challenge to improve my following… my dance. There is always a vibe and silent code for steppers to respect each other even when partners years apart in experience come together to dance. It’s etiquette.
All the time, I hope my dance partner wants me to be able to follow what they give me and I in turn hope for a good signal and lead to keep us looking good. My best dances are with those that “feel me out” to see what I can do but then take the opportunity (in a single dance) to push me without instructing me.
So, please gentlemen take the time to gauge my level of dance and don’t make fun of what I know or don’t know. Believe me, some have done so but I am not easily discouraged by words or actions. On the floor and off, let’s respect the fact that we’re all different people with different styles trying to grow and realize new levels within ourselves.
We are all learning … even some “heavy hitters” still need to figure out how to encourage a new stepper without overwhelming them. Jamaicans say, “Respect my level.” It’s all about steppers’ respect.
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Sonji
One thing Cewonz that I’ve seen to be true on every set is that you get what you bring to it. Stay cool and you’ll get your dances. Steppers help each other a long. Be patient with learning. It will all come to you.
Cewonz
I feel I’m a great dancer! I’ve been told so. I dance to House music, R&B even Hip Hop right? When I stumbled onto a You Tube video on Chicago Steppin’… I was stuck!!! I thought that was the coolest thing. Grown people dancing and having fun! Right up my alley! Finally I was able to find a class in my state (NC) Long story short.. Been to few classes. Didn’t have the best experience alot of confusion. The Pandemic didn’t help so I’m stuck trying to pick up something from watching videos. I feel I have the basics but nothing else. So during this Pandemic my feelings are changing about pursuing the dance just on once I get on a set.. will anyone dance with me? Should I tell them I’m new on the set? Am I gonna look too Goofy? I’m gonna commit to the dance as much as I can to get it but I do have a big fear of running into the ” Not so nice people” people on the set who won’t recognize that newbies need that love.. that push to help encourage us to strive to get better. When I do master enough of this dance I’m gonna be part of the solution to help these ladies out here who are newbies to build up and encourage them and show them a great time!
Sonji
My sentiments exactly. That is what this post is speaking on. I have been there myself but don’t let anyone discourage you. I can testify that in time to come some of those men will ask you to dance because they see how you’ve grown and you’ll give them the dance of their life and you’ll just say in your mind or maybe out loud, “now, BAM! I showed you.” We should all remember that we started off in this dance not as the best we could be and we’re still on a road to greatness. Thank you for stopping by.
MFHUNTER
This has always haunted me at sets and events. Maybe it’s my imagination or even my insecurities about my skill level. Although I’ve been stepping 3 years, I’ve not had consistent instructors or classes, I have a solid basic and feel like I am at least an average stepper. Yet more than once at sets or events I’ve felt like I’m on a “Don’t Ask” List. It’s quite intimidating when the guy is more into fancy footwork, spins, multiple turns, and moves I’ve never seen or done. At the end of those kind of dances where I executed the moves poorly, no wonder guys avoid asking me to dance. Taking me out of my comfort zone is exciting and makes the dance fun. However, to dance so far above the skill level, makes me look awful on the dance floor and is not enjoyable to me and obviously not enjoyable to him. I think if I saw how awful my dance was with that guy, it would appear that I really can’t step. Just one dance like that and I now have to walk around and ask guys to dance with me after watching them dance while trying to determine if he’ll out dance me to the point that I’ll be embarrassed. I’ve been told repeatedly that the guy determines your level at the beginning of the dance yet there’s always those guys that kill my confidence.
Thank you seasoned and veteran steppers who respect and gauge their partners’ level. To those guys who disregard the etiquette of the dance…Every dance should be enjoyable and end with a smile from you both…if not… look to yourself…You’ve overlooked the etiquette and elegance of a beautiful dance.
Thank you for addressing etiquette in your blog, Great
MHUNTER
Simmysweet
Indeed and we’ll said:-) keep it up Sonji.
Sonji
Hey Marvin! I have to say I experienced this with you one on one and I appreciate that I left smiling and even to the point of booking my next dance for our next event meet up in another city. Can’t wait for the next opportunity! I appreciate that as a seasoned stepper you can still remember and be empathetic about what the “newbies” go through. There are veteran steppers that take me out of my comfort zone and I have different reactions depending on their approach. Thank you for the attention, support and your comments.
Marvin White
Hey Sonji!! Congratulations on your blog! As a seasoned stepper, it is my “goal” each and every record to have fun and make it just as fun for me and my partner. I will dance with anyone, on any level. Sometimes when I ask, the lady will say (just seeing me dance with another stepper), “I can’t do all that”, and my response is always, “let’s just have fun”. I always “feel” out my partner, and as a lead, it’s my job not to outdance my partner, but make them feel comfortable in the dance. Ladies, most guys will/should respect the level of your dance. I don’t know of any veteran steppers that will try and take you out your comfort zone. New steppers might not be able to tell the difference between trying or perfecting a new move, and his partner’s level of dance. So, he may not necessarily be purposely trying to take you out your comfort zone as much as he may be trying to “perfect” his skills. I’ve been steppin for years, and I can instantly tell where your level is…I start off in your comfort zone, but by the time the dance is over, I will push you to try some new and exciting things. But be assure, I will ‘respect your level’, but if you’re new, I’m gonna push you, and still respect your level. In the end, I promise you will leave the floor with a smile… 🙂
Hadiyah Al-Sudan
Congratulations on your new Blog…
Sonji
Thank you Jacquelyn. It is really hearing and relating to stories of new steppers that inspire me to speak up more. So, I am glad I have your attention and hope to keep it. Get back on the floor even if you dance at home. You can do it!!!
Jacquelyn
Thank you, Sonji, for expressing what many “new steppers” feel. I started stepping almost four years ago, but it has been almost three years since I’ve been on the dance due to a hectic work schedule with my previous employer. I now have time to get back in the swing of things, I’m hesitant because I feel that I would be starting over (although I have the basic skills). I remember those feelings you described when I first started and I’m not looking forward to going through that again. Congratulations on your website/blog and I will definitely follow you on all social media channels.