Etiquette 10. Do Not Burst the Trust Bubble
Recently some moments in Chicago reminded me of the importance of trust in steppin’ Chicago style and how it is an important etiquette in our dance.
Last week Saturday in Donnie Davis’ class, my big toe was freshly bandaged up as I recuperated from an injury. I spent 30 minutes working on a move as I took extraordinary steps mid-carousel to run away from every man I danced within an effort to protect my toe. All I imagined was someone stepping on my toe and aggravating my injury. How unfair! No one in this class ever stepped on my toe. I ruined the execution of the move with every man I danced with who was trying to learn something new. They were still kind and patient with me. Gulp!
Complaining on the Dance Floor
On a Friday at the Grand Ballroom, two of my friends went back and forth with my hand saying “you dance with her.” “No. you dance with her.” Why? During a dance with one of these gentlemen, I complained about the floor. “It’s too slippery and I am afraid to fall. There’s too much powder.” Through the entire song, I danced timidly looking at the floor, aloof to the moment and afraid to do more than one turn. At times I teetered scared like a bird. At the end of the first song, my partner was ready to give me away quickly instead of going through another song with my complaints. I eventually saved myself, walked away, and sat down.
Moments later, Dewitt Walker asked me to dance. I said, “the floor is slippery.” He took my hand anyhow and led me to the dance floor. As Dewitt got to the dance floor and realized it was slippery, he did a split and shuffle and said “Whoa! I’m going to have some fun with this!” He danced grinning and did another split. I laughed. Dewitt’s reaction to the slippery floor was an instant mind shift for me. I realized I also have control of how much we will enjoy this dance — or not. As a new song came on, Dewitt and I started off and I forgot about the slippery floor. I laughed, danced freely, and enjoyed myself in every single musical minute. After some songs and even spins with Dewitt, my friends I had walked away from earlier danced with me next.
Trust on the Dancefloor
Any of my handicaps in steppin’ Chicago style, I create in my own mind. I realize and know every man who dances with me wants to know that I trust him. One stepper blatantly said, “Sonji, when we step, are you dancing with me or are you dancing with the floor?” Enough said. Now, whether injured, in the tip-top toe shape, or trying a new move I recall these moments. When on the dance floor I get in my bubble with a right mind, trust my partner, and moreover trust myself and just dance. I do not want to burst the trust bubble.
“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.”
UNKNOWN
Thank you James!
Thanks for sharing your experience and lesson on etiquette. It should serve to benefit many who have some mental block when asked may I have this dance.