By a lucky circumstance, I made it to the west coast last weekend to the SDC Third Annual Summer Set. This trip to San Diego was my first time on the west coast for a steppers event. My last time on the west coast four years ago was in Seattle for an Alaskan cruise. My San Diego trip was impromptu and I wasn’t ready. Really. I realized that even on the west coast there is a need for men just like on the east coast.
After a 2-hour flight delay on Friday, I arrived at midnight and went straight to the after-party. On Saturday, I made it to the park. The weather was just right and the music on point. The 3 hour time difference finally caught up with me on Saturday night and this young buck slept all the way through the main event and the after-party. #%$$#!!. Okay. On Sunday, I smiled and greeted everyone I missed at the main event on Saturday night. I know I missed a great time on Saturday and even more devastating – Carmichael’s performance. To catch my return flight I had to leave the Sunday set by 3 p.m. Of course, I sulked as I had to leave just when DJ Black Cool was making it hot.
In the time that I was awake, I realized San Diego is still a pioneering market for the Chicago steppin’ community. I saw more than a few from Chicago which was good. However, overall the women outnumbered the men by far on Friday’s after-party and at the start of the Sunday brunch. I danced no more than ten songs the entire weekend and I waited for some time between songs and I know I danced more than other women present. Most of the men’s shirts were drenched with sweat and they kept on dancing and working the room. I wondered, “Where are all the men?”
I hear often that some event promoters pay the men to be at their events so that women have men to dance with. On the flip side, I’ve heard many men remark, “These people aren’t going to dance me to death. I’m not getting paid to be here.” Hmm. Folks, we have to start somewhere and for this dance to grow outside of Chicago there is a need for goodwill on all sides. All promoters at new stepper weekend events can’t afford to pay for steppers to come to their event and host them for free. Men, I am sure do not want to sweat out their wardrobe or feel like they’re fulfilling an obligation when they just want to dance. Weekend events – old and new – need our support – both our presence and our money.
San Diego taught me a few things:
- Plan for the time difference and make it a four day trip at least. Leave on Monday
- Invite and encourage more of the men I know that step to be there next year. This is my first plug. See you in San Diego next year?
- Plan ahead. I lucked out on a $250 round trip cost when typically from Virginia it is a minimum of $600 for round trip airfare no matter how early it’s booked
- Don’t catch a contact from the Mary Jane. It’s legal in California. Lawd!
“To cultivate good intention and to actualize it require the similar endeavor. Don’t turn off the goodwill.”
Giharu Si Perempuan Gunung
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Reggie Miles
There are “men” on set who sometimes just prefer to be in the “atmosphere” and listen to the music. And it’s nothing wrong with that. Some brothers just come out to “walk” too others will play chess. The “set” is total social experience where you can come in and be yourself as a dancer, or socialize. Don’t be discouraged or have expectations about a set. Invite a friend that you know to dance with you.
Sonji
I like your comment Cherry. We had a very long discussion on this blog and Facebook on my article some time ago about women asking men to dance. Interesting conversation. I am puzzled too when I see the men sitting out too talking. However I try to consider that they may not want to work the room like others and want to socialize. They paid their money to come to the set and have fun their way. Hmmm. Amen and amen on supporting each other.
Cherry Bufford
Yes, where are the men?! I’ve heard many men comment that although there are many women at steppers sets, the women when asked will turn down the men. What’s up with that women?! Why go if you don’t want to dance? My issue is I don’t get asked. I go to the steppers sets to dance and I see men standing around not asking anyone to dance. What’s up with that men?! Anyway I agree we all have to support one another at the steppers events. It is truly a beautiful art form. Blessings to all from an old school 8 count Chicago woman.